Lemon Drops, Wizards, and Spiders
by Arachne-Girl
Summary: Dumbledore's orphaned grandson comes to England to go to Hogwarts in Harry's 5th year, but how many waves will the chatty genius American make to the wizarding world. Not to mention the fact that he's a rather well known figure to the muggles. Foot in mouth/Exposed/Relaxed/Somehow Naive/Cheerful/Occasionally polite/Prodigy! Peter World weary Peter & Harry. No OMCs


Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Or Spider-Man.

Peter paced around the small room. The fifteen year old was two minutes away from snapping. His aunt had _died_ of a heart attack and Social Services thought that keeping the grieving recently exposed superhero in their system was a good idea. He should be out fighting crime, not waiting to find his closest relatives!

An old man appears in the doorway next to his social worker. Peter glances at the man curiously, and then shrugs.

"Hey Helen. Who's Gandalf?"

"Albus Dumbledore." The man had a prim British accent that seemed out of place on the elder, who was wearing a maroon suit with lime green shirt and shoes. "Mary was my youngest daughter."

"If the Mary you're talking about is the Mary I think you are talking about, then that would make you my grandfather?" Peter inquires.

"Precisely. Ma'am, would you be as kind as to let me acquaint myself with my grandson?" Helen nods and closes the door, moving a bit stiffly with unfocused eyes.

"Nice trick Gandalf. Do you mind if I call you Gandalf? You look like him, and calling you Grandfather is too awkward."

"It's fine Peter. Would you mind moving to Britain? I run a school for young witches and wizards, and I would it prefer it if you attended." Peter blinked twice.

"How do you know I'm a wizard?" Peter is skeptical, but then again he is a New York superhero. Albus flicks a piece of wood and Peter is surrounded by shimmering red, blue, and white aura with the faintest traces of gray. Peter shrugs.

"I expect I don't have much of a-what was that?" Peter shakes his head.

"I entered four years of magical knowledge into your head. You should be able to enter as a fifth year. Now let's go get your school supplies." Peter suddenly finds himself having the strangest sensation of being squeezed in a tight tube, and then he and his grandfather are standing in a busy street.

"Cool, slightly reminiscent of being squeezed by the good doctor, but cool." The first stop is getting Peter robes, which he protests, mainly because they would restrict his movement. Peter enjoys all the other stops enough, although Peter decides to wait a while before getting an animal, since most don't really like him. Peter looks around the next shop they enter. An old man with wide, creepy eyes greets them.

"Dumbledore. I suspect you want a wand for your charge?" Peter peers inquisitively at the man. "Now, what is your wand hand?"

"Uh, my left?" Peter answers. When the tape measures start flying around, Peter starts to casually avoid them. "This isn't necessary is it?" The man-most likely Ollivander, judging by the shop name- says nothing, just hands him a variety of wands, none of which really work.

"Wait one moment Man-Spider." Peter sighs. Magical people can never get his name right. Honestly, Peter was surprised he was recognized, since his grandfather had not mentioned it. "Try this Man of Spiders. Its steelwood, almost as indestructible as the Muggle made ada-something an-"

"Adamantium?"

"That, yes." Ollivander waves him off. "Its core is a strand of Acromantula webbing and it extends into a ninety-six inch long staff. Good for defense, and combat situations." Peter grasps the handle, and white sparks shoot out in the shape of a spider's web. "Good, good. That will be forty galleons." The headmaster pays the required amount, then apparatus the two of them to Grimmuald Street. He then shows Peter a strip of paper that Peter scans.

"Wha-whoa, that was kinda cool. Corny, but still." Peter mumbles as they enter. An orange cat immediately assaults him, growling. Peter resists the urge to growl right back, and a bushy haired girl picks up the cat, soothing it.

"I'm sorry; Crookshanks is normally better behaved than this." She looks at him right about then. "Merlin's pants! You're Spider-Man aren't you?"

A tall gangly red head interrupts her. "Spider who?" He gulps, looking rather pale.

A pair of identical red heads interrupts him. "Did someone say-"

"-Spider-Man?"

"As in the master of-"

"Insulting people? The one and only, at your service." Peter quips.

"Hi! I'm Fred, he's George. A pleasure to meet a fellow trickster. Our arachnophobic little brother there's Ron, and the girl holding the evil demon is Hermione."

"I'm Peter Parker. Nice to meet you George, Fred, Hermione. I don't bite Ronniekins." The teenager turns as red as his hair at that moment. He grins at the four teenager and flips onto the staircase. However, the sight of a known murderer causes Peter to double check his spider sense, which doesn't warn him of anything.

"Are you innocent, because my spider sense isn't telling me you're evil, but you never know." Peter rambles, jumping onto the man's shoulders and looking at him upside down. Sirius Black stiffens suddenly.

"Dumbledore, why is there a stranger _sitting on my shoulders!?"_ Peter grinned at the older man.

"I'll get off when somebody explains all this to me." Peter answers casually.

"I'm innocent, but-"

"That's enough, thanks. According to my spider sense you're telling the truth, and I tend to trust my spider sense."

"What? Shouldn't you be in St. Mungos, Mr.…?"

"Parker. Peter Parker. Also known as the amazing Spider-Man, at your service." Sirius blinks, and then decides that it would be better for his sanity to say nothing.

"I repeat, shouldn't you be in St. Mungos?" Then again, Sirius_ was_ a Marauder.

"And St. Mungos is…?"

"It's a wizard hospital, more or less." Hermione answers matter of factly.

"Thanks, but why should I go to this hospital of yours?"

"You seem insane enough."

"Ouch. That hurts right here." Peter points to his hear. "I can't believe you feel that way." Peter sniffs as though hurt. Then he smirks and backflips off of Sirius…and onto the portrait of Mrs. Black.

"FILTHY MUDBLOODS AND HALF BREEDS, DIRTYING THE NOBLE HOUSE OF BLACK! BLOOD TRAI-" Peter covers his ears at the sound, and notices another man helping Sirius try to wrestle the curtains previously covering the portrait over the portrait again.

"Talking portraits? This place is almost crazier than where I come from." Peter quips. "Oh, and Ma'am, when I want to hear an insane rant, I go fight evil geniuses. Wait, ah…achoo!" Peter pretends to sneeze, and webs up the portrait, silencing the woman.

* * *

Remus stares at the young man who just shot a sort of artificial webbing at the portrait. There's something…off about him, something wild and potentially dangerous. The teenager turns to look at him, and for the briefest of moments, his eyes seem to become red and insectoid. It disappears almost immediately, and the young wizard performs an over exaggerated bow. When he stands up straight, he looks Remus in the eye, then cocks his head to the side, inspecting him.

"You aren't completely human are you?" Remus stiffens.

"Why do you ask?" Remus growls, showing his fangs to the younger wizard, who grins back at Remus, showing his own over-large canines.

"Sorry, was I rude? People tell me I'm rude all the time. I have foot in mouth syndrome, or so people tell me. I hope I didn't insult you, but I usually insult everybody because that's my whole gimmick. After all, I can't be Spider-Man if I don't insult people. I'm Peter by the way. Nice to meet you."

"Remus. I'm a werewolf, to answer your question." He awaits the inevitable flinch, but Peter seems unfazed.

"I've never met a werewolf. I've met-well fought anyway-vampires though, although they're most likely a different kind. It wouldn't surprise me much. At one point Dracula turned nearly every superhero, or turned them into mindless slaves using mind control. I'm immune to vampirism, as are Wolverine and Deadpool-because of their healing factors-, and the Hulk, cause he has that whole gamma radiation thing going for him. Wolverine and Hulk got brainwashed though. That pretty much let Deadpool-who's crazy enough to resist mind control-, me-because of my ultra-cool reflective lenses, and Blade, who's half vampire anyway. It was…unnerving to say the least, fighting old friends and allies. I also fought Morbius, who was draining plasma from innocent civilians. I felt _really_ guilty about that, mostly because he became a vampire after getting bitten by a vampire bat who thought my radioactive blood was a good meal. It's a long story. After that, I suppose the Ancients would fit, considering they also feed off of people, totemistic people, but people nonetheless. Fighting them was…they were some of the worse creatures I've ever had the displeasure of meeting."

Peter's eyes harden as he recalls those memories, and the haunted look chills Remus to the bone, for the simple fact that he has eyes of those who have seen the terrors of the world, eyes that have no business on the face of one so young. The only other people Remus can compare that look to, are Moody, and oh so occasionally, Harry. Then he remembers the people Peter mentioned.

"The Ancients as in Mortia, Morlun, Thanis, and Malos, who are nigh indestructible beings that feed off of totems, and are considered undefeatable?"

"The very same, unfortunately." Peter snarls. Sensing the sudden tension, Molly Weasley bustles into the room.

"Hello dear, Dumbledore told me to get you set up. Why don't you come upstairs with me and I'll show you your room. You'll be sharing with the twins. I'm Mrs. Weasley."

"Thank you ma'am. It's a pleasure." Peter responds cordially, with no trace of that lighthearted personality from before. He follows the Weasley matriarch upstairs, melting into the shadows. Remus looks at the steps, wondering about the boy with the jaded eyes and still carefree soul.

A/N: R&R please. Constructive criticism appreciated. No unnecessary flames. Sorry if it's a bit forward, I've never been one for long (and boring) introductions. Sorry if its disjointed, I'm new at this and I still have to get the hang of it.


End file.
